Summary
The book reviewed in this paper addresses sexual addiction, exploring its roots, diagnosis, healing methods, and ways to recover from it. The author, Laaser (2004), finds this topic important because it is a deep rooted problem in the church with many sex addicts suffering secretly and breaching God’s law to extent of threatens to damage the Christian church, marriages, and families. Sexual addiction can begin in childhood, go on in adolescence, and still manifest in adulthood irrespective of who the victim is. It affects both the non-believers, believers, and church leaders. Nevertheless, despite sexual addiction being similar to other addiction such as alcoholism, gambling, and drug abuse, the society has chosen to live in denial and scorns sexual addicts. This has pushed the victims, particularly Christians, into isolation and loneliness. The author further notes that accessibility of sexually explicit materials on the Internet has exacerbated the problem. Fortunately, as a former addict, the author gives hope to those struggling with sexual addiction noting the book will help the readers to gain sexual sobriety and heal the wounds of the addiction.
Notably, the author divides the book into four main parts/topics. The first section deals with describing sexual addiction. Here, Laaser (2004) discusses four sub-topics: the relationship between sexual addiction and sin, building-block behaviours of sex addicts, types of sexual addition, and how to diagnose sexual addiction. From this chapter, the author share information that can help a reader differentiate between sexual addiction and normal sexuality. The second section delves deeper into roots of sexual addiction where the author discusses how unhealthy family dynamics and family abuse push individuals from such families to use sex as an escape and co-dependency in attempt to cope with the unhealthy environment.
Having given a comprehensive background the types and causes of sexual addiction, the author proceeds to focus on how the addicts can recover from it. The author gives an overview of the journey of healing, how to confront it, and the sexual addiction treatment essentials. The highlight of this section is the healing process is a lifetime journey that requires patience, planning, hard work, having a vision, and trusting in Christ’s love. The addict must also be ready to answer difficult questions, be accountable, and understand the changes they likely to go through during the process. The author asserts that an effective treatment plan must have certain components which include stopping sexual behaviors, fantasies, rituals, and healing despair. He also dedicates a whole chapter explaining how couples can go through the healing process. Despite the expected damage that the vice cause to marriages, the author encourages couples to work together in honesty during the healing journey.
The fourth section focuses on healing sexual addiction in the church with a detailed description with how addicted pastors, priests, and congregation can recover. Laaser (2004) acknowledges that it is a widespread problem in the church. Therefore, the church should quit being defensive and instead take steps to help affected believers reform. The latter includes being able to identify victims, and putting in place measures that can help them throughout the healing process. As a conclusion, the author notes that although there may be no cure for sexual addiction, the book can help them live normal lives and overcome the sexual temptations.
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Analysis
The author provides a comprehensive analysis on the issue of sexual addiction looking into its background, causes, and treatment. Right from the onset, the reader can note that his commentary is targeted to anyone battling with the problem including the addicts, co-addicts, and those who are unaware that sex can be an addiction. The author’s point of view on the topic is that sexual addiction is an addiction like any other, yet the shame that is attributed to it makes it so much harder to deal with it. The addiction also thrives in secrecy, unlike other additions such as alcoholism which are clear for others to see. The introductory part of the book begins with the author highlighting some major scandals within the universal church, which is effective in proving how deep the problem of sexual addiction runs. He then approaches it as a societal problem that needs to be addressed at a personal and family level (Laaser, 2004, p.121). This approach helps the reader to understand the topic for its severity without giving the connotation of hopelessness.
One of the outstanding attributes of the book is how the author utilizes the rhetorical triangle which comprises ethos, pathos, and logos throughout the book to persuade readers. He uses ethos when confesses that he is a reformed sex addict noting that it has been seventeen years since he began the journey of healing. The latter gives the reader confidence in the information shared in the book as it is shared from a credible source rather theoretical guidelines. Besides, by depicting a sexual addiction treatment as a life time process that he is also still undergoing, he gives the readers hope that they can also overcome the struggle. Persons who are faced with any unhealthy sexual lifestyle over which they lack control are able to trust the solutions that he offers in the subsequent chapters because they know that the author can relate to their issue.
Moreover, Laaser (2004) also persuades the readers through pathos, which is an appeal to their emotions by shedding light to the effects that sexual addiction brings to the loved ones of those struggling. An example of this appeal is that in the context of marriage, a spouse may be exploitative to their partner in an attempt to fulfill their pervasive sexual wants. Such an outlook may affect the feelings of an individual in a way that they feel the need to rehabilitate so as to remove such suffering from their spouse. Finally, utilizes logos by persuading people based on facts. For instance, he gives real life examples of people who have experienced the effects of sexual addiction. For examples, he mentions the story of the eighty year old pastor’s wife who was admitted for surgery to her genitals due to lesions that had come from fifty years of masturbation (Laaser, 2004, p.34). Such a story is based on facts and it appeals to the judgment of any individual who is living in addiction to find a way out before the consequences become too dire.
The author explicitly looks at sexual addiction from a psychological perspective by dealing with the root of the problem. Most of the factors that he links to the addiction stem from the upbringing of individuals and other surrounding factors that may have an impact on the psychological well-being of the person. He thus opines that the root of the problem is lodged in the subconscious of the individuals and later manifests either in the privacy of the person, or in their intimate relationships. An underlying perspective that is noticeable in the book is the notion that the society is responsible for the well-being of the addict. This is visible from the root of the addiction which is mainly social, to the healing process which may also involve intervention and accountability.
The book has been organized into four broad categories that have moved systematically from understanding the problem, identifying it in people, noting where it stems from, and embarking on the journey of recovery. Each section has been broken down further into more detailed chapters which give deeper insight into the topic of that section. The order in which the author has put the different sections of the book gives the reader an opportunity to get a comprehensive overview of the topic, and systematic transition from the problem to the process of finding a solution. The arguments in the book are sound and consistent, covering every relevant angle of sexual addiction. He deals with various types of addiction including fantasy and exhibitionism, which may not be often tackled.
Notably, it is evident that the author uses a serious tone throughout the paper showing how much he perceives sexual addiction as a grave issue in the society. Though the topic of sex in the church whether healthy or pervasive is approached with apprehension, the author is very clear and graphic is explaining the issues relating to sexual addiction. He even goes ahead to provide countless examples of cases involving people who had been plunged into the cycle addiction, thus creating the grim picture of the problem and how hard is is to overcome it. However, apart from giving a vivid background on addiction, he also uses the tone of hope when identifying the ways in which any individual can gradually achieve freedom from the addiction. A book with a deep exploration of sexual addiction, its effects, characteristics, and roots would have been comprehensive, but it would not offer the much needed solutions to the readers looking for a solution. However, the author brings hope by dedicating six entire chapters of the book to finding a solution for addicts in different contexts.
The author takes a practical approach to dealing with the problem of sexual addiction. As an author who refers countless times to the Bible, it would have been easy to offer the solution of prayer and faith for the problem. However, he cites solutions that one can include in their daily lives and gradually gain control of their sexuality. The importance of this practical approach is that it does not lock out readers who may not subscribe to a similar faith. Further, giving practical solutions makes people less skeptical about their effectiveness, especially when one does not feel spiritually upright enough to receive healing through prayer. The evidence that the author uses is mainly drawn from real life examples. I find this adequate when dealing with this topic because such accounts resonate with some readers, and are thus effective.
One of the shortcomings that stood out was the fact that the author is a male and thus not able to have a proper understanding of the sexual addiction in women. Furthermore, his perspectives were likely to be biased. It would be more persuasive for a female reader if a woman with similar experiences as them gave their account. Fortunately, the author has remedied this problem publishing another book that explicitly focuses on sexual addiction in women (Ferree & Laaser, 2010).
Conclusion
The content of the book is valuable because it thoroughly analyzes the problem of sexual addiction to make the readers understand its various forms. The stereotypical definition of sexual addiction may leave out some aspects, omitting a section that people’s sexual tendencies form part of sexual addiction. The book is helpful to all people because even those who are not dealing with addiction can access information on the effects and contributing factors of this problem and realize how to deal with it. The author provides a number of practical solutions that sexually addicted individuals can use. The book recommends couples to stay together and use spiritual practices to cure the relationships. There’s no universal strategy: sometimes it is good to separate a wife from the sexually addicted husband, for example, while at other times it is important that the couple stays together. The author stresses that people should consult God and Bible for the best course of action in their healing. It is recommended that people understand and nurture their strengths, while also acknowledging their weaknesses. Striving toward closeness by engaging in frank communication founded on pledge to value and care for another individual is of utmost importance during the healing process. To reach this sort of understanding, couples must be open about their past sexual behaviors and preferences, understand the ways to talks about their emotions, and respect the ability and willingness of the partner to cure himself or herself, developing a new way of understanding sexuality.
References
Ferree, M. C., & Laaser, M. (2010). No stones: Women redeemed from sexual addiction. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Laaser, M. R. (2004). Healing the wounds of sexual addiction.
Michigan, MI: Zondervan.
